Stones, part two

About a week and a half into the Camino, I began to miss my kids quite intensely, which makes sense given that we have never been apart for very long. Around the same time, I began reflecting on the loss of my parents from my life. This was an interesting parallel.

I have had the opportunity in my life to hear many kids and adults discuss their relationships with their parents, and I have come to understand that my family was an anomaly. My parents were committed to me and each other in a way that few people experience. I am not suggesting that everything was perfect, by a long shot, but that what I took for granted as a young person, few people ever get the good fortune to know. I was loved unconditionally and got to see a marriage relationship that was reflective of that same level of commitment. 

I determined through contemplation that the best way for me to honor my parents is to be the best parent I can be to my own kids. It was around this time that I decided to cut my trip by a few weeks and come home early. While on this Camino, I missed some crucial life events in the lives of my kids and that helped me to see that I should find my way back home. It was at this time that I laid down my parents stones on my way to Burgos. 

I also laid down my broken heart stone there. I learned that it will be difficult to impossible to find a man who is committed to his family in the way that my dad was. That is the man I continue to search for and I understand now that I may not find that kind of love and dedication easily or ever. 

A few days later, I was walking alone and began to think about my health. I was sick at the time. Spanish food and lack of sleep had gotten the best of me. I was walking only six miles that day, but I decided to pray for B who is fighting cancer. I laid down his stone as I approached Castrojeriz.

When I began my travels toward home I began to think about the rest of my stones. I felt like there must be something significant left in my journey that would alert me to leave the stones. I found that place when I saw the Cathedral in Leon. I wasn’t sure how, but I knew that is where I wanted to leave the remaining stones. 

The cathedral is the beautiful lighted building you see in the distance.

There are honestly no words to describe the exquisite beauty of the cathedral, both inside and out. I spent a lot of time there just marveling in the carving of the stone, the stained glass windows and the intricacy of every square inch of the place. It defies words. I looked around for an appropriate place to put my stones and then I found a stone chalice. That is where I placed my last stones, including the ones for my children and Kaitlin, Joe’s girlfriend. 

That was all. I left all of the stones along the pilgrim’s path in Spain. I left my pain, my love and my prayers there, symbolically, for the universe to manage.

That is why I carried the stones so many miles.❤️